A different peek into winning the game of lasting personal transformation
The global self-help industry is a predatory, $44-billion, accountability-absent behemoth. It relies entirely on a single, relentless chant: success breeds happiness, and changing your life to create it means changing yourself first.
Wrong. On both counts. It is an exhausting lie being deliberately perpetrated on you, because it sells more product.
The demand is massive, sustainable behavioral effort from your already exhausted central nervous system. It forces people into mind-numbing, rigid, morning routines, tracking on manifestation calendars, and the application of intense downstream willpower.
As you may have already discovered.
The corporate self-help algorithm is completely inside-out and upside-down – and it appears to also be on-purpose. So let’s break this down.
The Backwards Nature Of Present-Day Self-Help
The industry has a propaganda pipeline that looks like this:
If You Want Success ➔ To Create More Happiness ➔ You Need Self-Improvement
Nope. They’ve got the mechanics reversed. Humans don’t work that way.
If you want a successful life, because you want to be happier, you don’t try to improve it without first addressing your natural resistance to CHANGE or you’ll never get to the success part.
If you will instead enjoy developing Comfort With ChangeTM you will then be perfectly positioned to optimize for the success you want – which will then bring you the happiness you want.
At which point, guess what: because you’re now at ease with the process of change, you can then decide if you want to become even more successful – to create even more happiness!
Make Change Feel Good 😱(yes, it can)
Did you know that change can and must feel good and make you happy, or you won’t? Change, that is. It’s human nature – and that’s where we can help.
Any other approach, like the industry-wide hoopla up above, and good people are driven nuts by this incomplete approach.
What’s worse, and manifestly unfair about this insider hustle, is also genuinely terrifying: that the self-help industry knows this and is showing no signs of self-correcting for the path it’s on. It relies on slick marketing and brain-washing to sustain its staggering profitability.
In fact, the data shows that desperate, well-intentioned people return every 18 months to try another book, guru, framework, or seminar (Prochaska, DiClemente; The Transtheoretical Model of Change, 1979) – hoping this time the new prescription will stick.
We can all do better than that.
Let’s Bust Their Broken Blueprint
May we boldly and perhaps unconventionally suggest that there’s a good reason why the gurus’ advice completely messes with the average exhausted, disillusioned and disconnected woman: they tell her that she has to force herself into a state of fake, frantic, rooftop ecstasy over a car, a job, a relationship, or a million dollars she doesn’t yet have.
The moment she tries to manufacture that fake euphoria, her inner critic wakes up instantly, throws a brick through the windshield of her focus, and whispers: “Who are you kidding? You’re sitting on a threadbare couch, you’re broken and need fixing, and your joints hurt.”
We think the world needs to start getting a whole lot more sensitive to how unhappy people have become with both lives that no longer fit them, and the cultural fallout that results from that misfortune.
So we’re changing more than just the rules – we’re changing the game.
When you focus entirely on sharpening the quality of your desire for happiness, it naturally commands a shift in your internal alignment. Which produces a baseline of fulfillment, which then happily drives the real successes which you were chasing in the first place: financial wealth, physical health, stable weight, deep relationships, closeness to God: whatever’s your fancy!
Our more natural and useful timetable looks like this:
You Want Success (who doesn’t!) ➔ First Improve The Quality Of Your Desire For The Happiness It Will Bring You ➔ While You Assemble Your Highest Inner Resources For Change ➔ Go Crazy Transforming Your Life Into One, Solid, Sustainable Magnet For Success.
For Women, It’s Not Change – It’s Remembering
We’ve created a space specifically for bright, passionate women who can see the simple logic in how Mother Nature has organized all this.
Regrettably, for now anyway, men and women process discomfort entirely differently. When men become bored with who they have become, they generally lean into sleeping, sex, or buying expensive stuff – to numb the friction. Perhaps one day they’ll wake up to Mother Nature’s very simple Rules for Change. (ref. www.daveandlarry.com/the-6-rules)
In the meantime, intelligent and capable women seek genuine evolution. And what we propose is that they discover for themselves that they’ve simply forgotten to remember how much they love to feel good.
And then let the evolution they want flow naturally from there.
Step Out of the Loop
If you are ready to stop participating in the 18-month cycle of self-denial (and self-criticism, and possibly even self-loathing) and step instead into a new world of truth, transparency, and personal transformation, then let your journey start with a self-diagnosis:
- The Immediate Test: If you want to see exactly what you are up against, use The 10-Second Reveal (ref. XXX) which we created for you. It is a clean, 30-second internal audit that exposes the quiet impact on your life of your resistance to change. It’ll show you the exact size of the opportunity waiting for you on the other side.
- The Deep Work: For those ready to step out of the exploitative self-help loop, we host an immersive, stories-and-games-filled experience called Winning The Game of Change, to win The Game of Life. It follows the fictional narrative of one woman’s recovery from exactly what’s probably missing from your life, too: Comfort With ChangeTM.
Welcome to your own emotional rescue – from the cycle of struggle, suffering, confusion and shame which is the current self-help industry’s hamster wheel. Stop giving your power away to a rigged and broken system.
Instead, come inside and sharpen your magical and inexhaustible desire for feeling good. Beginning with simply feeling better.
And then, together, perhaps you’d like to learn (and win) a completely different Game.
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